{"id":4378,"date":"2021-08-26T01:48:54","date_gmt":"2021-08-25T15:48:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/insyncnetworkgroup.com\/honey-your-career-or-mine\/"},"modified":"2023-07-03T01:59:22","modified_gmt":"2023-07-02T15:59:22","slug":"honey-your-career-or-mine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/insyncnetworkgroup.com\/honey-your-career-or-mine\/","title":{"rendered":"Honey, your career or mine?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Balancing two expat careers in the one family.<\/em><\/h2>\n

If someone tells you they know the definitive way for couples to manage the demands and needs of two global expat careers in the one family, they are clearly lying to you.<\/p>\n

Every family is different, every circumstance is different. The only thing families in this situation have in common is that they are all managing a delicate balancing act.\u00a0 A balancing act that can change if a family moves or stays abroad and will probably change again, when the family comes home.<\/p>\n

There is a lot of advice for couples balancing two professional careers, however often the advice assumes a couple are talking about careers in an environment with like-for-like opportunities. Avivah Wittenberg-Cox,<\/a> CEO of gender consulting firm 20-first who advises dual career couples, told Fast Company<\/em> that couples should spend time planning their career balance \u2018without the interference of circumstance and assumptions\u2019. Unfortunately for expats, circumstance can become everything.<\/p>\n

While I can\u2019t offer a \u2018how to guide\u2019 for families, having worked with many in this situation over the last ten years, what I can offer is the different combinations that have worked for the expats who have shared their stories with me.<\/p>\n

Batman and Robin<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Wittenberg-Cox describes the \u2018lead career\u2019 as the model where one person\u2019s career determines the big decisions, while the other person might build a secondary career while still primarily supporting their partner\u2019s career. This model will be familiar to many expat couples. While not unusual for both parties to work in their professional careers, it is usually one party\u2019s career opportunity that has led the decision to relocate.<\/p>\n

While circumstance largely drives this decision, sometimes opportunities can sprout for the person choosing the \u2018secondary career\u2019. My podcast guest Nicole Webb<\/a> went to Hong Kong and Xian in China for her husband\u2019s career opportunity and pivoted her TV journalism career into best-selling author, MC and media trainer.<\/p>\n

The Alternators<\/strong><\/h2>\n

This is the model of the global career \u2018lifers\u2019, the families where life is never going to be about that \u2018one time the family lived abroad\u2019, this will be a long-term life decision to live in multiple countries.\u00a0 Couples who are both diplomats may find themselves in this position. This is also the model that couples who are from different countries may sign up to like recent podcast guest Prue Clarke<\/a> and her US-born husband.<\/p>\n

Flip and Floppers<\/strong><\/h2>\n

This is when you have one person who has flopped into the lead career role but unlike Batman and Robin, it is virtually impossible for Robin to find a version of their career \u2013 so they have to totally flip.\u00a0 This is like Mandy MIrghashini\u2019s<\/a> engineering husband who quickly realised in Amsterdam, without speaking Dutch, he would not be even able to build a \u2018secondary career\u2019.\u00a0 Instead, he took up full time, online university study in physics, an area he had always loved.<\/p>\n

Whatever the combination, what\u2019s clear is that those who make it work are those that realise that expat life can be fluid and revisit the balance frequently to make sure both parties are getting their career needs met \u2013 not necessarily at the same time, but over the longer term.<\/p>\n

My biggest learning from career couples has been, never use the term \u2018trailing spouse\u2019.<\/p>\n

For a person who has had a big career, to be labelled \u2018trailing\u2019 anything is giant rub up the wrong way! It sounds like the accompanying partner is walking three steps behind carrying the bags.<\/p>\n

Myself and the network are open to suggestions!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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